Potholes for Sale

David Stern is selling people potholes. Because…America.


Friend of The Humor Columnist David Stern–who was last seen in this space promoting the very important Balding Handbook–has found a new way to fleece the public make money doing something other than real work. Stern is the proprietor of The Pothole Store, which sells the naming rights to Chicago area potholes as well as their contents to pothole-loving citizens.

Items for sale include: Potholepourri, Chicago Pothole Snowglobe and pothole varietals such as Skokie Tokie. It’s like a deranged Etsy store for potholes.

This is the Pothole Store promise:

Our mission statement has always been simple: To provide the highest quality 100% Authentic Chicago pothole products at the lowest prices. These fourteen simple words have guided us from day one. These fourteen words have demanded that we only use the ripest and freshest crumbling asphalt from around Chicagoland. These fourteen words have been our template throughout our tireless dedication. These fourteen words have made us the largest purveyor of 100% authentic Chicago pothole products in the world.

Repeat…The World.

We humbly welcome you to The Pothole Store, where only the best pothole products are sold. All our products come with a Certificate Of Authenticity (COA) assuring that you’re only getting the very best. When you open one of our products for the first time and take in it’s rich fresh aroma, you’ll say to yourself…”That’s Good Pothole”.

The amount of work and effort Stern put into offering potholes for sale on the Internet probably could have been used to start a more useful small business, which is why I applaud his efforts.

This is “pothole expert” David Stern being interviewed on WGN about his pothole store.


Author: Joe Donatelli

Joe Donatelli is a writer in Los Angeles. He publishes The Humor Columnist.