Humor Columns
From 2002-2004 I wrote a humor column for Scripps-Howard News Service. Since then I have published my column in magazines, online, on my personal site and now here.
The Latest
Rock and Roll Ralphs and the Beer Aisle of Good and Evil (The Humor Columnist)
The Greatest Hits
Can you ride a scooter and still be a man? (Made Man)
I blame my fiancee for this engagement photo (Salon)
4 evolutionary explanations for modern annoyances (Cracked)
Heavy mayo, or the greatest thing I have seen in L.A. (Hypervocal)
A trip to see the worst movie ever made (These Fries Are Good)
20 discontinued foods that we sort of miss (Livestrong)
My review of Peepshow at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas
Dating
Don’t play it straight (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Definition of a date (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
The state of the date (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Still single? You’re not alone (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Commercial causes wingman strategy to crash (Naples Daily News)
Short people got no reason to date (TCPalm)
Speed-dating tips (Made Man)
Improv dating tips (Made Man)
Dogs
Remembering Hunter (Joe Donatelli)
Drugs
The War on Drugs starts at Foot Locker (Scripps Howard)
Entertainment
7 most disturbing moments in Mad Men history (Guyism)
Recapping the first four seasons of Mad Men (The Humor Columnist)
My review of Peepshow at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas
Huey Lewis & The News, a Soulsville release date and The Power of Love
How I scored an interview with Huey Lewis and the News drummer Bill Gibson
Viva la wah: Why is Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin so sad?
Food and drink
20 discontinued foods that we sort of miss (Livestrong)
Taco Bell Doritos Taco Loco: The Review (Guyism)
Wine saves marriages and vice-versa (The Humor Columnist)
My favorite food is food that tastes like other food (Guyism)
How alcohol will change Starbucks (Guyism)
Holy Taco vs. The Foot-Long Burger (Holy Taco)
Happiness
Smile, brother, smile (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Holidays
The St. Patrick’s Day 200 (Guyism)
Death to the adults table at Thanksgiving
Kids Table Manifesto (Scripps Howard)
Manhood
Can you ride a scooter and still be a man? (Made Man)
How to build Ikea furniture — drink heavily (Guyism)
Party small-talk topics for guys (The Good Men Project)
Friends and lovers (Scripps Howard)
Disco dopes (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Bald new world (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
A review of products for bald men
Marriage
I blame my fiancee for this engagement photo (Salon)
Joe and Jen’s engagement photo shoot
Pre-Cana (The Humor Columnist)
Why gay marriage is good for straight men (Guyism)
The Joint Bachelor/Bachelorette Party Test (Made Man)
Bachelordom ends in olive oil tasting room (Made Man)
Crashing Hugh Hefner’s bachelor party (Made Man)
How to officiate a wedding ceremony (Brides)
Nightlife
Nightclubs still hold the same offbeat characters (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Karaoke crimes (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Ohio University
The Junction: A Eulogy (The Humor Columnist)
Politics
Memorable quotes from McNugget George Washington (The Humor Columnist)
Vice President Biden has San Francisco’s baseball Giants on the brain (The Humor Columnist)
If only I lived in New Hampshire (Dipdive)
Public spectacles
What to do if you’re white and you suddenly realize your karaoke song has the n-word in it (The Humor Columnist)
Lies, deception and betrayal at Trader Joe’s
The 24 things you see at Adultcon
The 25 saddest things you see at AdultCon (Holy Taco)
The tiger was too small (Made Man)
Random
I would like to congratulate model/actor Joe Donatelli on being the handsomest Joe Donatelli in America (The Humor Columnist)
For my brother Dan, for when he writes a character based on me in one of his books (The Humor Columnist)
The five emotions you experience after your home is robbed
A tall order (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
My sensory deprivation experience
Relationships
This guy watched ‘The Batchelor’ so you don’t have to (The Humor Columnist)
The spruce truce (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Love and airports (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
The case against commitment (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Puppy practice (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
Men Are More Romantic Than Women (Made Man)
Where have all the good men gone? (Post-Gazette)
In opposition to the Open Door Policy
Go get her
The White Castle Valentine’s Day dinner (Made Man)
Science
4 evolutionary explanations for modern annoyances (Cracked)
Flavonoid Behavior Theory
Sports
NFL pre-game shows are putrid (Made Man)
Blake Griffin dunks, hits three, sells shirt (Made Man)
My battle with the 12-minute mile (Fine Living)
Ohio fans, let’s do this again soon (Ohio Today)
Teachable moments in Las Vegas
Game 7 Lakers: Downtown Los Angeles during Lakers’ game 7 win
Technology
7 ways video games are saving the world (Guyism)
Theories
Why men love waitresses (Funny or Die)
Travel
I was told I saw gray whales (The Humor Columnist)
Honeymoon in Italy Part 1: Fondle My wife, please
Honeymoon in Italy Part 2: Driving in Italy
Honeymoon in Italy Part 3: The Americans have arrived
Honeymoon in Italy Part 4: Travel fighting
Honeymoon in Italy Part 5: Europe is filled with pickpockets, probably
Honeymoon in Italy Part 6: Vespa tour of Tuscany
Disneyland is no place for children
It’s August! Time to take a vacation (Chicago Sun-Times, login required)
Calling all couples: Take the airport test (Chicago Sun-Times, login required)
Work
A note to any company considering hiring Joe Donatelli
New and improved employee evaluation form
How to spot a towering mediocrity
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