The New Yorker buying the Borowitz Report is the type of thing you’d expect to read in…the Borowitz Report. But it’s true. Borowitz announced it himself in The New Yorker.
After eleven years of writing nothing but fake news at the Borowitz Report, I have to tell you something that actually happened.
I’m excited to announce that The New Yorker has acquired the Borowitz Report. Starting today, the column will be moving to its new home at newyorker.com.
Longtime Borowitz Report readers might ask: how will moving to The New Yorker, known for its excruciating fact-checking, change the Borowitz Report, which is composed entirely of lies?
The answer: not at all. The Borowitz Report will be as inaccurate as always, and if I ever write something that turns out to be true you have my deepest apology and my promise that it won’t happen again.
Another question: what will happen to the Borowitz Report’s editorial independence? No worries on that score, either. David Remnick, the editor of The New Yorker, has assured me that I can write whatever I want as long as I don’t make fun of Malcolm Gladwell.
And now, if you’ll forgive me, I’d like to say one last thing that’s true.
My mom, Helen Borowitz, who died this month at the age of eighty-three, loved The New Yorker all her life and introduced me to it when I was a little boy. Seeing the Borowitz Report at The New Yorker would have made her so happy. I dedicate all my columns to her memory.
Clearly the major issue moving forward is how the Borowitz Report’s ultra-liberal political slant will mesh with The New Yorker’s mega-liberal political slant. For example: Will the two entities clash over whether Mitt Romney is an awful human being or just a terrible excuse of a man? Only time will tell.
Nonetheless, congratulations are in order for Borowitz. In the last year he has signed on with one of the most respected publishers of humor in the nation and published one of the best collections of humor ever printed. It’s great to see humor writers being taken seriously, and although Borowitz might do well to discover that it’s not just the Republicans who are completely evil and corrupt, his humor remains enjoyable and necessary.