The Wall Street Journal’s Joe Queenan thinks Italian mothers are the best. The “Moving Targets” columnist writes that all of the recent hubbub over whether Chinese or French mothers are superior is a bunch of malarkey. (Queenan is a curmudgeon so I feel comfortable using the word malarkey.)
“Speaking from my own experience, I would argue that the best mothers are Italian-Americans, in part because they are warm and affectionate, but mostly because of the manicotti. When I was a kid, my own Irish-American mother was a terrible cook, so I would dutifully eat the remains of whatever luckless animal she’d just burned to a crisp, puke it up and then run down the street to Richie Giardinelli’s house, where his mother was always baking ziti or cooking up a fresh pot of meatballs or making manicotti.
“I never met anyone who was more beloved by her kids than Mrs. Giardinelli, though she wasn’t much different from all the other Italian-American mothers I have known. Italian-American moms love their kids, they look out for their kids, they defend their kids, and because of that their kids generally grow up to be pillars of the community. If I had to do it all over again, I’d come back as an Italian-American kid—in part because of the warmth, the affection, the passion and the generosity, but mostly because of the manicotti.”
As an Italian-American kid, I concur.
Queenan’s column and more reasons why Italian mothers are the best:
Why Italian Moms are the Best (Wall Street Journal) (Subscription is required. Don’t have a subscription? Start paying for your news, you cheapskate!) This is the Joe Queenan column that inspired this post.
How My Italian Mom Weeded Out Prospective Suitors (At Fran’s Table)
Fran Tunno describes how hard it is to find a man when you’re mother is an Italian woman with absolutely no internal filter.
An Italian Mother (ChainLetters)
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. Hilarity ensues.
The Italian Mother and Her Virgin Daughter (Humorsphere)
Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But mother reassured her. You can guess what happened next.
Tommy’s Mother’s House (GoodFellas) (First few seconds are scrambled, but the video clears)
This is probably the best scene in the movie “GoodFellas.” It’s when the guys stop at Tommy’s mother’s house in the middle of the night.
Shit Italian Moms Say
This video premiered during the height of the Shit (BLANK) Say Internet meme.
How Italian Moms Iron
Words cannot explain. Just watch.
For more Italian humor from The Humor Columnist go here.