Is it Good? Tart Restaurant

Check out pics of people jumping in the pool with their clothes on at TART at Farmer’s Daughter. And find out the answer to the question: Tart: Is it good?

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I get invited to events because I’m married to one of Los Angeles’s top food, travel and lifestyle writersI’ve also been a lifestyle writer myself. I go to so many restaurants and bars and happenings and have so much to say about these experiences that I’ve decided to start a new feature on this site called “Is it Good?”

“Is it Good?” answers the main question everyone asks when they’ve heard you visited a restaurant or a bar.

They want to know, “Is it Good?”

Then you explain, “Yeah, it’s good.” Or you say, “No, it’s not that good.” Or: “It could be good if…”

Each “Is It Good?” will weight the following factors in a bar or restaurant that are important to me.

They are, in this order:

Continue reading “Is it Good? Tart Restaurant”

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Jeff Kramer’s Steamroller Story That Never Saw the Light of Day

Jeff Kramer shares the story of a drunk guy who stole a steamroller, passed out and forgot about it.

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While I was interviewing humor columnist Jeff Kramer he told a story about a guy in rural New York who got drunk and stole a steamroller. It was too long to include in the article, but too good not to include somewhere. Kramer’s story never ran in the paper, and the world is a lesser place for it.

The Humor Columnist: Did you have any stories killed?

Jeff Kramer: Some kid was going to court because he had turned himself in for stealing a steamroller, like a road grader, a thing for flattening asphalt. I drive out to the boonies, and I find this kid, and he’s in his early 20s. He’s in a crumbling apartment building in the middle of a pasture. There’s Bee Gees music blaring. The stairs are crumbling. I walk up the stairs. I pound on the door. He can’t hear me. I pound louder.

He comes down. He’s wearing nothing but a bathing suit. He’s drinking beer.

I tell him who I am and why I want to talk to him, and he says, ‘I’m kind of busy.’ I said, ‘What are you doing?’ He says, ‘I’m drinking beer.’ I go, ‘I drink beer.’ He goes, ‘You want one?’ So he brings down three Buds, two for him, one for me.

We sit on these crumbling concrete stairs, and he spills out this whole story. He had been at this bar and was too drunk to drive. He starts walking home to his mother’s house, seven miles on a rural road. He cuts through a cornfield. There’s a creek in the cornfield he didn’t see. He falls into that. He’s in his waste in muddy water. He climbs out. He gets back on the road. He’s tired. He’s wet. He’s no longer buzzed.

He sees a construction site. He’d worked construction before, and he knew that keys get left in these things. He has four miles to go. These things have a top speed of seven miles per hour. He gets home, and he hides it in the woods. He gets up in the morning, and he’s forgotten all about it. He sees the sun glint off something in the backyard. He says, ‘Holy crap.’ It comes back what he’s done. He puts the thing deeper in the woods and covers it.

It’s a small town. Cops are going back and forth in front of the house. He’s looking for an opportunity to take it back, but he doesn’t want to get any friends involved because he doesn’t want to get them in trouble. He finally realizes he’s going to get arrested and turns himself in.

That’s where I picked up the story. This wasn’t one of those things where you have to be Dave Barry. You just let the thing tell itself. I wrote it up. It should have been front page 4th of July newspaper, the little thing at the bottom of page one everyone talks about at the barbecue. They would not run it. Guess why.

THC: It glorifies drinking and driving.

JK: You may be the only one who has ever gotten that.

THC: I’ve worked at newspapers.

JK: They said it glorifies drinking and driving. If you use that as a standard, you could never write about anyone who has done anything stupid.
Read the whole interview with Kramer here.

Photo by Curran Kelleher

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Classic Column: 200 Ways to Say You’re Drunk on St. Patrick’s Day

Read a list – woven into a story – of 200 ways to say I’m drunk this St. Patrick’s Day.

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I wrote this epic tribute to getting salubrious for Guyism in 2012. Looking back, I’m proud of how it turned out. I think it captures the fun essence of this Irish High Holy Day.

May no man owe you a farthing this St. Patrick’s Day!

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