My wife and I left Los Angeles and moved back to our college town, Athens, Ohio, for the fall semester. A few months ago we sent a friend to scout out a home for us. She looked at the place we’re currently at and reported back that it was rough around the edges, but (and I agree with this) if the current tenants and landlord clean the place up by the time we arrive, it would make a nice apartment.
Well, they didn’t.
When we arrived, the only thing that apparently had been cleaned was the refrigerator. The floors maybe got a quick mop and vacuum. The windows, walls, bathroom and kitchen were a mess. I have lived in some terrible off-campus housing at Ohio University, and this is by far the worst.
With a lot of help from our parents, we cleaned the place up and moved in our furniture. It took over 10 hours of sweat and even a little blood. Not to mention the extra coin we threw down on cleaning implements. It’s livable now, although as of this writing our front door is broken and our toilet has no water shut-off lever. But our apartment is no longer the horror show it once was so please don’t be sad for us. We’re fine. I just had to document the perfect combination that is students who trash housing and the landlords who do not clean up after them.
This is my wife. We are happy that we are back in Athens. We are sad that the apartment we have rented looks like the set of a “Saw” movie.
What’s that? Oh, that’s just a hole in our living room wall stuffed with wire and newspaper. Probably to keep all the poltergeists out.
This is where part of the living room wall tried to escape from the house.
This is a stain on the floor from when our apartment was used as a fight club.
When removing a poster, the key thing is to remove as much paint as possible. Fine work right here.
Had to send the wife out to get shaving cream for the windowsills.
Probably just a dent from when the previous tenant was trying to destroy the building.
If you’re putting in our living room, the floor breaks left to right before sloping gently downward toward the street.
Have I mentioned the views?
In all fairness, the apartment was partially furnished. This piece of art is called, “Dead fly someone killed and was too lazy to scrape off the wall because they’re an asshole.”
Very helpful. Shows us where the blinds would go, if there were any.
Here you can see where the landlord spackled and painted over the hole in the ceiling with duct tape.
The blinds really bring the room together.
One cool thing: the kitchen window is a Picasso.
Must have been installed in 2001. Because this things’s 10 years are up.
Can’t wait to meet the neighbors.
Counter drawers are screwed shut. There is nowhere to put silverware, pots or pans. It’s just like living in the “Arrested Development” house.
Living room ceiling is rife with symbolism.
The bathroom has a definite “put the lotion in the basket vibe,” no?
This was the bathroom light when we moved in. We like it because it’s safe.
This is currently how we turn on cold water in the shower.
This was Chloe’s reaction to her new home.
On the plus side, we found this in the closet.
And we are never, ever giving it back.
Note: I am getting a lot of notes of concern. We will post the after photos sometime in the next week. It no longer looks like the photos above. In fact, I’d say we’ve upgraded it to meth house chic.
