List of Things to Do Before Wife Returns from Work Trip

The 10 things I need to do before my wife returns from her work trip.

1. Remove beer cans from shower

2. Put on shirt

3. Take out 8-foot-tall pile of recycling

4. Shave face

5. Replace video game controllers and hot sauce bottles on coffee table with books about Peruvian art

6. Throw away whatever is growing in the back of the fridge before it kills us all

7. Dust the dog

8. Sweep up all hallway tumbleweeds

9. Do 5 push-ups

10. Put on pants

@joedonatelli

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Author: Joe Donatelli

Joe Donatelli is a writer in Los Angeles. He publishes The Humor Columnist.

  • HogsAteMySister

    We are men. Hear us fart. P.S. you are way more concise then me when your missus goes away.

  • No time to dally. There’s a fortune to be made recycling those shower beer cans.