How to juice fast, lose weight fast and lose your mind fast

Writer Joe Donatelli went on a juice fast, lost weight and almost lost his mind. But he did reap benefits. Read about them here.

Thinking about doing a juice fast? Hoping it will help with weight loss? Always wondered what terrifying starvation felt like?

You’re in luck, friend. I went on a three-day juice fasting diet, suffered mightily for 72 straight hours and then wrote about it.

I pitched this idea to my editor at Livestrong, and unfortunately for me, he bit. Although the site had covered juice fasting and juice cleanses before, we both noticed how no one besides health-writer-weenie-types had ever written about what it was like to go through a three-day juice cleanse. This is the story of what happens when a beer-drinking, meat-eating, football-loving, gun-waving (got a gun? gotta wave it) American male drinks nothing but pressed juices for three days.

Here’s an excerpt from the article:

I felt pretty upbeat as I left the Kreation storefront in Beverly Hills. Though a little nervous, I was excited about taking on a new challenge. I hadn’t eaten anything since the day before, so when I got back to the car I opened a bottle of “Green #1″—a mixture of romaine lettuce, apple, mint and some other stuff. Perhaps because I half-expected anything named “Green #1” to be made of people (damn you, Charlton Heston!), I was surprised at how good the drink tasted. I finished it before I got home. I had another juice mid-morning—also tasty. Good start. I remember thinking, “this won’t be bad.” Which, of course, is exactly what people think right before something goes bad.

Thanks to the kids at Kreation Juice who boldly allowed me to drink their juices and who boldly put Ks in words where they don’t belong.

Read all about how to fast with juices here.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what the world feels like at the end of a three-day juice fast, it feels like Paula Deen on ‘ludes. See video below.

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Author: Joe Donatelli

Joe Donatelli is a writer in Los Angeles. He publishes The Humor Columnist.