I check Google Analytics each week to see why people come to this website, what they are reading and how much time they spend reading it. Sometimes the keyword search results are disturbing. Like last week. Someone came to The Humor Columnist after searching for the term “heroin humor.” Heroin is, of course, inherently hilarious. For my money, heroin is the funniest drug because people are so willing to lose their money and their lives for a narcotic that lets you take a really pleasant nap. At least with other drugs, you become more productive or more interesting. Not heroin. You just nod off like grandpa watching bowling. On the plus side, you can put heroin in a burrito, which is how I think this person found my site.
Someone came to this website seeking heroin humor — ugh