The Humor Columnist FAQ
Q: I’m an editor. Can I purchase a column that you have written?
A: My, you’re handsome/pretty. Yes, you can. See the next question.
Q: I want to hire a humor columnist for my newspaper/website/magazine. Can I hire you?
A: Have I mentioned how handsome/pretty you are yet? Yes. Please email me at contactjoed (at) gmail.com.
Q: I like to laugh. Where can I read your columns?
A: You’re smart. You can read them here.
Q: I’m a humor writer, and I would like you to review my book on The Humor Columnist.
A: That’s not really a question. It’s more of a demand. Let’s try to keep this civil. I get many requests from humor book writers to review their books, and I like helping humor writers, so here’s what we can do. Send me an original (not published anywhere else online) excerpt from your book. Keep it under 1,000 words. If it’s a good fit for the site, I will publish it and link to the book. You can email me at contactjoed (at) gmail.com.
Q: I’m a humor writer, and I would like to write something for your site.
A: I read everything sent to me. I can’t pay. I am, after all, a freelance writer. Last night I ate white rice and a packet of Arby’s sauce for dinner. Email: contactjoed (at) gmail.com.
Q: Who the hell are you?
A: Hey! Watch the language. I’m a journalist in Los Angeles who has written funny columns for the Los Angeles Times, Salon, Cracked, Brides, Babble, Scripps-Howard and a bunch of other publications, including several leading recreational boating magazines.
Q: Define “sense of humor.”
A: Hey, this is getting a little deep for an FAQ. I can’t think of a better definition than the one Dave Barry came up with, which you can read here.
Q: I want to be a humor columnist. Any advice?
A: Yes, invent a time machine and go back in time and be born in 1949, so that your career can peak along with the newspaper industry’s. Otherwise, check out some of the resources here.
Q: Who is your favorite humor writer?
A: I think everything New York Times political columnist Thomas Friedman writes is hilarious.
Q: Come on. For real. Who do you like?
A: The people who continue to find ways to make people laugh are my favorite writers.
Q: Who took the photo? It’s better than everything else on the site.
A: It is. The photo is from PhotoSteve101.