From the Wilmington, North Carolina Craig’s List (wait, Wilmington, North Carolina has a Craig’s List?) comes a very funny Lost & Found ad for a “Brittney Marie” ring.

The opener: ”I spent yesterday morning frolicking in the waves of the Atlantic Ocean at Wrightsville Beach. While toweling off my Phelps-like physique, I discovered a ring lying in the sand near the Crystal Pier. This ring is obviosuly special. It’s not special in a way that requires me to return it to Mordor to defeat Sauron and all of that crap, but it’s still special in its own unique way.”

It gets better and better. Read the rest here.