I will be offline for a few days so try to find something else to occupy your time

Oh, hello. I didn’t hear you come in.

Well, since you’re here…

This is just a note to say I will not be posting for the next few days. I am doing some exciting life stuff that’s going to keep me offline. Not to worry. I’ll be back soon.

In the meantime you are welcome to check out:

New and improved employee evaluation form

Why men love waitresses

7 ways video games are saving the world

Evolutionary explanations for modern inconveniences

And more of my columns here.





Humor contest deadline for Washington Post is August 10

Find out how to enter the Washington Post’s humor contest

This is great news. The Washington Post has launched a humor contest.

Humor contest details via the Post:

The WP Magazine is inviting readers to submit original, unpublished material to its first Humor Contest. Readers may enter material to any or all of three categories:

● A true memoir

● A funny, unstaged photo

● A 140-chracter Twitter joke.

Only one memoir or photo per person. If you submit multiple entries, we will consider only the first received. Include your name, age, city of residence, e-mail address and phone number, and occupation on all entries.

You may submit only material that you have written or photographed yourself, and you must have all necessary rights to the material to submit it. For photos, include caption information and the date the photo was taken. Please do not submit images that have been heavily manipulated. It is acceptable to adjust images to achieve color balance that reflects the scene as you observed it. Cropping is also acceptable.

The Post has the right to disqualify any image it believes has been overly altered or staged.

Only amateurs are eligible. Professional humor writers or photographers (i.e., anyone who earns more than 50 percent of his or her annual income fromwriting humor or photography, determined at Sponsor’s sole discretion) are not eligible.

By entering, you grant The Washington Post permission to use your material in perpetuity in any medium, including to edit, publish, distribute and republish it in any form. You retain the copyright.

All entries are subject to The Post’s Discussion and Submission Guidelines.

Entries must be received by 11:59 p.m. ET on Friday, Aug. 10, 2012. Entriesmust be received by 11:59 p.m. ET on Friday, Aug. 10, 2012. Entries that are late, incomplete, unreadable, inaccurate, unintelligible or otherwise not in compliance with these Official Rules will be disqualified. Sponsors are not responsible for lost, destroyed ormisdirected entries.

A word of praise for the Washington Post. By employing Gene Weingarten, and running humor contests like this one, it continues to support humor writing at a time when most newspapers and magazines have given up on it.

For more details about this humor contest go here.



Awesome humor website seeks humor writer assistant

Want to become a better humor writer? I am looking for an assistant for my humor website.

I need someone who can write a weekly list for The Humor Columnist and a monthly humor column.

What you get in return: 1.) I will provide free coaching sessions that will help you become a better humor writer. 2.) You can add this experience to your resume. 3.) You will get clips. 4.) A good reference.

How to apply: Email me at contactjoed (at) gmail.com with the funniest thing you have written.

Note: This is a telecommuting position, because it would be weird if you were in my apartment.

Deadline: Aug. 6, 2012


The New Yorker buys the Borowitz Report

Andy Borowitz has sold The Borowitz Report to The New Yorker. Read about it here.

The New Yorker buying the Borowitz Report is the type of thing you’d expect to read in…the Borowitz Report. But it’s true. Borowitz announced it himself in The New Yorker.

The announcement:

After eleven years of writing nothing but fake news at the Borowitz Report, I have to tell you something that actually happened.

I’m excited to announce that The New Yorker has acquired the Borowitz Report. Starting today, the column will be moving to its new home at newyorker.com.

Longtime Borowitz Report readers might ask: how will moving to The New Yorker, known for its excruciating fact-checking, change the Borowitz Report, which is composed entirely of lies?

The answer: not at all. The Borowitz Report will be as inaccurate as always, and if I ever write something that turns out to be true you have my deepest apology and my promise that it won’t happen again.

Another question: what will happen to the Borowitz Report’s editorial independence? No worries on that score, either. David Remnick, the editor of The New Yorker, has assured me that I can write whatever I want as long as I don’t make fun of Malcolm Gladwell.

And now, if you’ll forgive me, I’d like to say one last thing that’s true.

My mom, Helen Borowitz, who died this month at the age of eighty-three, loved The New Yorker all her life and introduced me to it when I was a little boy. Seeing the Borowitz Report at The New Yorker would have made her so happy. I dedicate all my columns to her memory.

That’s sweet.

Clearly the major issue moving forward is how the Borowitz Report’s ultra-liberal political slant will mesh with The New Yorker’s mega-liberal political slant. For example: Will the two entities clash over whether Mitt Romney is an awful human being or just a terrible excuse of a man? Only time will tell.

Nonetheless, congratulations are in order for Borowitz. In the last year he has signed on with one of the most respected publishers of humor in the nation and published one of the best collections of humor ever printed. It’s great to see humor writers being taken seriously, and although Borowitz might do well to discover that it’s not just the Republicans who are completely evil and corrupt, his humor remains enjoyable and necessary.